In the spirit of full disclosure even though I don't work Mondays, bank holidays for some reason completely throw me, I think its because everyone is home that only happens at the weekend. I have therefore spent the majority of the day assuming it is Sunday.. it is in fact not which has thrown all my plans for tomorrow based on the fact I apparently have to go to work.
On to the highlights:
- Mum's teeth the epic saga part 2. You probably require some background, my mother who spent most of my childhood and all of my adulthood lecturing me about taking care of my things, responsibility and other stuff I don't listen to has recently entered her clumsy phase in which she breaks nearly everything she touches. It is not dissimilar to the teenagers in that her new catchphrases include "it wasn't me" "I didn't mean to" and my personal favourite "somehow Tabitha this is your fault" So her most recent breakage is her dentures which apparently "just fell apart" in her mouth. She chooses to do this on a bank holiday weekend when the dentist is most definitely shut. Initially she starts banging on about how she can just superglue them back together, now I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure putting superglue in your mouth is probably not the smartest move. Then she decides thanks to the power of amazon that shes going to get some denture glue and fix them herself. There is much talk of sanding and drilling and sticking and I decide to just stay the hell out of it. The amazon man arrives... and she announces it's okay you get 3 attempts at fixing your dentures and because she is Mum thats all good because she'll only need one go at it. I may have at this point suggested yesterday that she just lets Dann do it... but oh no she can do it. As you may remember there was some talk about playdoh for keeping the dentures together...I stayed out of it until this morning I wake up to find this:
- Yup thats right that's mum with a sander. A sander for her dentures. My mum who wants to put some weird playdoh superglue mix into her face is now brandishing a sander. I swear sometimes my husband has no common sense at all. It turns out that her first attempt was a fail, as in she stuck them together but then had to break them apart again because they now in fact don't fit in her mouth. Therefore a sander is required to fix this issue. Now I've met my mum and I'm pretty sure for all her telling us how much common sense she has that this is not going to end well. I suggest that maybe she should just maybe let Dann do it, but oh no she's got this she's really got it this time. I'll cut a long story short (On account of having to go to work tomorrow) but there was a lot of huffing and puffing and putting denture glue in my freezer while chuntering about "the weather is affecting this glue" before it all went silent on the subject of dentures for quite some time. I learned a long time ago not to poke the dragon so I said nothing. Eventually and quite a bit later in the day (dinner time interestingly) while she was attempting to drink salad on account of not having her dentures she says "yes I think I might go to the dentist tomorrow" My foolish response was to ask if she had in fact used up all of her 3 attempts to which she shot me look... so I shut up. Before I go to bed tonight I am locking up the glue, playdoh, drills the works... seriously its worse than having a toddler in the house..... Oh wait!
- On account of us not napping we have now decided to nap in two parts, the part where we go to sleep wake up 10 minutes later and will only nap in the form of people beds on daddy in increasing heat - this is how he loses weight I swear!
- In other sunny toddler related news, we now have to "drive" to wherever we are going, which includes swimming, to the table, to go shopping or anywhere that you might walk the very short distance (she gets this from her father)
- It is also hilarious to pour water over our head while shouting at everybody to "stop doing that it's too cold" - she did however convince Nonna back into the pool
- We are also very keen on shopping and bags and filling and carrying as many bags as possible even if they are too heavy, she gets this from her Aunty Tara
- I have no clue what time the 18 year old crawled in last night but he spent the majority of the day sleeping and having a hangover. I fed and hydrated him but he gave up and went back to bed.
- I have to discuss food touching because I cannot be the only person this applies to. Also if I document it here then I know I won't have to keep explaining it. I truly have issues with food touching, there is a distinct set of rules which say that wet and dry food should not touch. (with some exceptions) Apparently this is weird and other people don't do this.This is an example, wet food with wet, dry with dry.. it's not difficult people and YES that is a plate designed for children but apparently Adults don't need trays to keep their food separate. One exception to this food rule is Dann's pickled onions which holy god contaminate everything and burn off your taste-buds (this makes them an excellent slimming world food because after one of those everything tastes like nothing) Those pickled onions are in fact allowed to touch dry food (namely cheese) because the cheese slightly takes the sting out of the taste-bud death. Am I the only one?
- No new 39 things because I thought it was Sunday and I didn't canvas opinion today :)
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